Essais

There Was War Again

Wed, 16 Sep 2026 07:50:27 +0300

2 Samuel 21

Verse 15 There was war again between the Philistines and Israel

Verse 18: After this there was again war with the Philistines at Gob

Verse 19: And there was again war with the Philistines at Gob

Verse 20: And there was again war at Gath

That’s a little too many times when there was again war with the Philistines, don’t you think? One battle would be won, and soon after another one would have to be won, and on and on again. No sooner had Absalom been routed than Sheba roused himself and the men of Israel against David. There are two things, very telling indeed at least on account of their refrain, that can be learnt from this set of lines of Scripture about there being again war with the Philistines.

First, after any enemy has been defeated, after God has granted us a great victory, even then we are required still to be on our guard, ready for the next call to action. We are soldiers who ought not to engage in civilian pursuits, we must always be sober and watchful since our aim isn’t to please ourselves but the one who enlisted us. When we kill an enemy we benefit both ourselves (we don’t get ourselves killed) and the rest of our comrades (we don’t get them killed). And so it is that Apostle Paul urges Timothy to be particularly diligent in keeping a watch over himself and his doctrine in order that he might save both himself and his hearers (1 Timothy 4:16). No matter how glorious and purple a triumph might turn out to be, and though we ought to rejoice with much gladness on that account, we must never lose our heads. We still must keep fit, and our sword must be oiled, sharpened and ready.

Second, though the wars were several, it is very encouraging to see that all these giants fell by the hand of David and by the hand of his servants (2 Samuel 21:22). That is the confidence and encouragement that we too have while we face every trial– that we are victors through our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57), that it is the Lord who goes before us to fight for us (Deuteronomy 1:30) and also it is He who goes with us to fight against our enemies and give us victory (Deuteronomy 20:4), that though the afflictions of the righteous be many, God delivers him from them all (Psalms 34:19). And even in those moments when a battle might turn out very terribly and to our loss like it did several times for the Israelites in their war against the tribe of Benjamin (Judges 20), what matters is that God had told us to march on, and to fight on, for afterwards he will do what seems good to him.

So, while we continue to live as pilgrims and exiles here below, we must not let ourselves be numbed, either by victory or loss, nor should our success or failure cloud our vision of God or plug our ears or harden our hearts from heeding his next call and doing his will. In Rudyard Kipling’s words, we must ‘meet with Triumph and Disaster/And treat those two impostors just the same;’. The devil moves about like a roaring lion seeking one he might devour (1 Peter 5:8), and he has come on great wrath as he knows his time is short (Revelation 12:12), and so more than we might reasonably expect it, there will be again war. We must put on the full armour of God if we are to be able to resist him and his host (Ephesians 6:11). We must live sober lives for the sake of our prayers (1 Peter 4:7), not letting sin and pleasure stain our conscience and draw us back from the Lord’s presence. Every single moment must be lived in the reality and expectation that our Lord will soon call us up to arms.

And though these battles be unceasing, even though all the buffeting might seem unending, and even if at times the victory seems and feels uncertain, it is comforting enough to know that it is the Lord who has commanded us, and that he rides before and ahead of our armies. He is our ever present help in the time of trouble (Psalms 46:1), he will be with us always, to succour and to bear us up, to the very end of the age (Matthew 28:20). And just as David himself became greater and greater, and waxed stronger and stronger, because the Lord, the God of Hosts, was with him (2 Samuel 5:10), so we too know that our lot will fall in pleasant places (Psalms 16:6), and then we will share in David’s sweet song:

For the waves of death encompassed me,
the torrents of destruction assailed me;
the cords of Sheol entangled me;
the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called upon the Lord;
to my God I called.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry came to his ears.
He rescued me from my strong enemy,
from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
2 Samuel 22:5-7,18

Prayer

Dear Lord, thank you because in you our victory is certain and assured. It is you who trains our hands for war and our fingers for battle, so that we ride victoriously over those who oppose you. May we hear you, and be ready when you call. In Jesus Name. Amen.

To whom shall we go

Tue, 15 Sep 2026 05:50:04 +0300

2 Samuel 20:2 So all the men of Israel withdrew from David and followed Sheba the son of Bichri. But the men of Judah followed their kind steadfastly from Jordan to Jerusalem.

In John 6, after Jesus had given a hard teaching about his flesh being the true bread and his blood the true drink, and many of his disciples, unable to bear it, had turned back from following him, he now asked his disciples, “Do you want to go away as well?” I doubt that there could be a fitter answer than the one which Peter, clearly full of conviction, gave: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and have come to know that you are the Holy one of God.”

In David’s case, as in the themed Scripture that starts this essay, Sheba, a worthless man, arose and turned Israel from following David. He proclaimed to them: “We have no portion in David, and we have no inheritance in the son of Jesse.” It struck me that I had heard that sort of line before. Oh yes, in the garden of Eden. The serpent: “Did God really say?… God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When our first parents listened to him, and disobeyed God by touching and eating the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden, they set off a chain of events, the consequences of which the whole human race is still smarting from.

Nor is it so different today. The script for the most part is really still the same. Satan, people, and circumstances are often pushing us to the wall, and suggesting to us the futility of following Christ, trying to prove to us the pointlessness and mindlessness of our faith. It isn’t so necessarily as obvious as that, rather a subtle but constant lure meant to turn our eyes from Jesus to the world, to ourselves, to men. And so Jude wrote fiercely and urgently, to warn us to be on our guard and to encourage us to remain steadfast in our faith: “Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about the common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once and for all delivered to all the Saints. For certain people have crept in unnoticed, who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord Jesus Christ.”

We all, who claim, and know, that there’s salvation in no one else except our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ must ever be on our guard against the deception that continue to ravage the church and cause many to fall away. We must beware the whisperings of Satan and his empty promises. We like the men of Judah must follow our King steadfastly from Jordan to Jerusalem, not turning to the left or to the right, not heeding the worthless and misleading insinuations by the Shebas who walk in our midst.

True, there are moments when following Jesus, when abiding in and sticking with him, when remaining faithful to him, will seem so foolish and appear to be so bleak, and even at times, as Jesus himself promised, dangerous. The times when we will feel alone, forsaken, confused, lost, hopeless, and joyless will also be several. But even then we must not let our gaze wander. Jesus alone is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). We too like Peter believe and have come to know that we have nowhere and no one else to go to, for only the Son of God has the words of eternal life. And so, like Paul, even though we might suffer as we do, we are not ashamed, for we know whom we have believed, and we are convinced he is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to us (2 Timothy 1:12).

Prayer:

Dear Lord, thank you for your Son Jesus Christ, in whom is life, and in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. We ask that by the help of your grace we will not be deluded or caused to turn away by any plausible arguments. Cause us to follow you steadfastly, and gladly. In Jesus name. Amen.

Mon, 14 Sep 2026 21:53:21 +0300

Rereading: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne 📚 with the Catherine Project 🥳

Are you king enough to be kind

Mon, 14 Sep 2026 07:27:00 +0300

2 Samuel 19:23 And the King said to Shimei, “You shall not die.” And the King gave him his oath.

Perhaps one of the greatest lessons to be learnt from David is his gentleness towards his enemies. He showed great restraint and mercy towards men who would have killed him had they but had the kind of opportunities David had had with them; he spared Saul’s life twice when Saul had been hunting him down to kill him, he instructed his commanders not to harm his son Absalom despite Absalom himself meaning to kill him, and in Shimei’s case, he refused Abishai permission to execute Shimei for his previous cursing. Shimei pleaded for forgiveness, and though one cannot be sure whether it was sincere or if it was the sort of thing one said to save his skin, David forgave him still and promised him his life with an oath. Mephibosheth too had acted shamefully in that he had not faithfully followed David but had stayed back in Israel presuming that the Kingdom of his father would be restored to him. When, however, after Absalom’s death and David’s return, Mephibosheth defends himself before him, David gladly restores his lands which he’d given to Mephibosheth’s servant Ziba– though now he shared the lands equally between them.

We, on the other hand, in this business of leadership, usually are trained, even if just tacitly, to be firm, domineering, and ruthless. Treason isn’t to be forgiven; impertinence and disrespect are to be punished on the spot. To be a leader ends up translating to be the law yourself. King David, and our Lord Jesus Christ, have given us a wholly different template to read from, a radical example that we are to strive to emulate and exemplify; David showed mercy and gentleness, Jesus has shown humility and servanthood. He made it very clear to his disciples that none of them could be masters without first being slaves themselves. In Micah, we read how that he has shown us mortals what he requires of us: “to love mercy, to act justly, and to walk humbly with our God.” Justice. Mercy. Humility.

Kings worthy of their crowns are unfazed by the brunt of the little impertinences they have to bear from worthless men. It is no little wonder that we with no crowns whatsoever, or no worthy crowns for that matter, are often so disturbed by the least of the negative comments people make about us, even when those comments are in fact true. David shows us that it is kingly to be kind and gentle. Jesus Christ has shown the greatest humility we will ever know, in that he did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but he humbled himself by taking the form of a servant and being born in the likeness of men. Though we could never be half the man David was, God still requires and enjoins it, just as Paul urges us to have the mindset of Christ in our relationship with others, not merely looking just to our own interests, but caring too for the interests of others.

Most of us will not have particularly prestigious positions of leadership or honorable titles, nor could we all be kings and queens, yet we certainly will hold leadership of and in some capacity, for instance as fathers and husbands, or as mothers and wives, or as the ward rep, or as the school prefect. Then, when we are tempted to be domineering, impatient, hard, and harsh, we must remember how Christ deals with us, how he has dealt with us. We must remember that kings don’t shout, just as Paul writes to Philemon, that though he could command him to do what is right, instead he chooses to plead with him (Philemon 1:8)-9. We must not forget that with the merciful God shows himself merciful, and that judgement is without partiality to him who has shown no partiality. My question: are you king enough to be kind? As David was. As Christ is.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, thank you for your mercy, gentleness, and lovingkindness. You have dealt compassionately with me when I deserved wrath. Thank you for the example of King Jesus and King David. Now that I have learnt that it is kingly to be kind, merciful, and gentle, teach and help me to deal likewise with my fellow men. In Jesus Name. Amen.

He knows our frame, he remembers that we are dust

Sun, 13 Sep 2026 09:10:40 +0300

2 Samuel 18:5 And the King ordered Joab and Abishai and Ittai, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” And all the people heard when the King gave orders to all the commanders about Absalom.

With the preceding incidents of David’s kindness towards people who by all appearances he was justified in showing them wrath, this instruction to his commanders that they not harm Absalom isn’t so surprising. However, when Joab defies the order, and spears Absalom to death, David’s grief for his son ends up turning a day of battle into a day of mourning (2 Samuel 19:1-2). Knowing all that Absalom had done; killing his brother Amnon in revenge for his having raped Tamar, usurping the throne, sleeping with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel, conspiring to kill David, it then is a wonder that King David is so broken by the news of his death, and that he weeps as much as he does for that handsome rascal.

The Lord, likewise, has dealt with, and deals with us just as kindly and lovingly. The Pharisees often expected Jesus Christ to be hard and harsh with sinners, instead, he was so kind and so loving and so obliging with them it enraged these men of the cloth; ‘this man receives sinners and eats with them’ (Luke 15:2), ‘If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner’ (Luke 7:39), they grumbled. The Lord speaking of Jesus, his chosen servant, through the Prophet Isaiah, proclaims: “He will not cry out nor raise his voice, nor cause his voice to be heard in the streets; a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoking flax he will not quench.” Now, of what use is a bruised reed? And who can bear a smoking flax with all its choking and inconveniencing smoke? Yet Jesus, instead of breaking the bruised reeds that most of us are, instead of quenching us with our interminable and intermittent faint burnings, instead of turning his face away from us despite our frequent and unending backsliding, he deals gently with us, showing us love that is wholly undeserved. “He will not always chide (like we do), nor does he keep his anger forever. He doesn’t deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For he knows our frame, and he remembers that we are dust” (Psalms 103:9-10,14). How very beautiful! How exceedingly encouraging!

All this isn’t to say that God tolerates sin, or accepts it. Rather, it is but only the perfect expression of what it means to hate the sin but love the sinner. Seeing just how much we have been forgiven, ought we not to fear, and love; ‘forgiveness is found with Him, that He might be feared’ (Psalms 130:4), ‘he who is forgiven much loves much’ (Luke 7:36-48). Let us be grateful for such love, mercy, and kindness, and rejoice unceasingly for being recipients of it. We have a Saviour who will not turn away or cast-out anyone who comes to him (John 6:37).

Prayer:

Dear Lord, Thank you for your love and gentleness towards us. We deserved death but you have granted us eternal life through your son Jesus Christ. Thank you for forgiving us our sins, and for accepting us into the Beloved. May we always be reminded of such love and undeserved mercy. In Jesus name. Amen.

Sat, 12 Sep 2026 22:20:25 +0300

Finished reading: The Silver Chair by C. S. Lewis 📚

Remember, remember the rules. Joshua 1:8

Tit for Tat no longer

Sat, 12 Sep 2026 01:59:02 +0300

Today, 12 September 2026

2 Samuel 16:11-12 …Leave him alone, and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will look on the wrong done to me, and that the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing today

King David and his companions, while they were fleeing away from Absalom, were met by Shimei, who was of the family of the house of Saul. He cursed David and pelted David and his men with stones. Quite naturally, Abishai, one of David’s mighty men, would have taken Shimei’s head had David not restrained him. He takes pains to explain why he has held his peace, and why Abishai and the rest should too: “What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord has said to him, ‘Curse David’, who then shall say, ‘Why have you done so?’ Behold my own son seeks my life, how much more this Benjamite! Leave him alone, let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will look on the wrong done to me, and the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing today.”

This has to be one of the moments when I have felt so awed by David’s kingly attitude, and have had but to assent that this indeed was a man after God’s own heart. I doubt it very much that I would have let a man speak to me as Shimei spoke to King David. Even now the little and inconsequential man that I am, I am still stricken in my heart when someone insults me. Two things stand out in David’s case for restraint. First is his insistence not to settle the score himself. He, clearly, would rather have had God be in his debt, perhaps knowing only too well that in avenging himself he would end up forfeiting God’s reward. Second was his acknowledgement of the possibility that Shimei cursed him because God had told him to do so. Now, I am sure that if God had told Shimei to curse David, Shimei would have not known it at all but would have only done it out of spite. If this indeed was so, that God had told Shimei to curse David, we who are so keen not to be cursed, or insulted, or despised, or dishonoured, have a terribly important lesson to learn here.

God’s ways are, on most times, not entirely understood by us. His concept of fairness, were we to attempt to get to the bottom of it, would blow our minds. Whatever the circumstances of our life, or our experiences, harsh and terrible though they may be, we must hold firmly to the conviction and sincerely believe that God is good, and that he is fair– assured that so long as God is watching over us, nothing bad can happen to us that is not good for us. When it has to do personally with us, however unfair we might perceive ourselves to be treated, we must resist the temptation of wanting to take an eye for an eye. It is much much better to have God in your debt, and knowing how that God shall be no man’s debtor, it’s a wonder if such a thing is even possible. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)

“When you give a dinner or a banquet,” Jesus taught, “do not invite your friends or brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just” (Luke 14:12-13) showing in very certain terms that it was better to be rewarded, to be paid back by God, rather than men. And, again, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven…” (Matthew 5:11-12) It is of course easier to say than to do, but still God enjoins it, that we love our enemies, pray for those who persecute us, and put all our hope and expectation of justice into his hands. It is infinitely better and much safer that way, and the reward is a more glorious one. Forgive, and let God do what seems good to him. And I know that there isn’t anything that would be better or more right than what he does.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, Thank you because you yourself have shown us great kindness and mercy and love, now teach us to extend the same to those who insult, resist, and persecute us. Cause us to trust your justice, never going so far as attempting to avenge ourselves. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Fri, 11 Sep 2026 14:53:34 +0300

Not very sure what’s up with my paragraphs in Today’s essay

What do you have that you did not receive?

Fri, 11 Sep 2026 13:07:28 +0300

2 Samuel 16:4 The King said to Ziba, “Behold, all that belonged to Mephibosheth us now yours.”

David, as King, remembered his friendship with Jonathan and the covenant that he had made not to forget Jonathan’s family when he became King. In 2 Samuel 9:1, King David inquired: “Is there still anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s son, was still alive, though crippled in both feet. David had him brought, and he honored him by restoring all the land that belonged to his grandfather Saul, making Ziba his servant, and having Mephibosheth supp at the King’s table for the rest of his life. But then Absalom conspires against his father David to take the kingdom, and David has to flee. Ziba meets King David and his company on their way with many and various provisions. When King David asks Ziba of Mephibosheth, Ziba answers: “Behold, he remains in Jerusalem, for he said, ‘Today the house of Israel will give me back the kingdom of my father.'” (2 Sam 16:3)

We would not outrightly admit it, but many of us do indeed behave and would behave just as Mephibosheth did. We ourselves had been lost, forgotten, defeated, and forsaken; just as Paul writes to Titus: “For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and lovingkindness of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,…” (Titus 3:3-5), but then, along the way, we end up forgetting by whose hand it is that we are so favoured, blessed, preserved, and flourished. We begin to despise the Giver of the gifts, imagining that we have obtained all we have— our beautiful and principled wife/girlfriend, our illustrious career, our great wealth— by sheer hard-work, diligence, and by our own personal shrewdness. Like in Jesus’ parable of the tenants, we are not so far from them in their conspiring: ‘But those tenants said to one another, “This is the heir, come, let us kill him, and the inheritance will be ours."’ In these moments when we are carried away by our glory and become arrogant, he who sits in heaven laughs at such foolishness and presumptuousness.

God’s lament against Israel in Hosea was that “…she did not know that it was I who gave her grain, the wine, and the oil, and who lavished on her silver and gold, which they used for Baal. Therefore,” he goes on to say, “I will take away my grain in its time, and my wine in its season, and I will take away my wool and my flax, which were to cover her nakedness.” (Hosea 2:8-10) We would also do well to slowly and keenly take in and ponder the words in Hannah’s prayer of thanksgiving after having Samuel:

Talk no more so very proudly, let no arrogance come out of your mouth; for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed… The Lord kills and brings to life, he brings down to Sheol and raises up, The Lord makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash-heap to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the world are the Lord’s, and on them he has set the world. (1 Samuel 2:3, 6-8)

Paul was surprised that the Corinthian Church was boasting over gifts that the Holy Spirit had granted, he asked them: “…what do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7). I have often found myself in a strait financially, my friends have frequently shown me kindness, and I have often only managed to get through by someone’s help, yet with time, and through the light of God’s word, I have come to the conviction that it was God who gave me all the help, only that he used the hands of men, or rather, mostly unconsciously, these men let themselves be used as the hands of God. It would therefore be foolish and careless of me to put the hope of my future provision in them. I must be properly grateful to them, but even greater gratitude must be to God. When his disciples seemed worried that everyone was now going to be baptized by Jesus and no one was coming to them, John the Baptist taught them, saying: “A person cannot receive even one thing, unless it is given him from heaven” (John 3:27). And when the Pharisees spoke arrogantly spoke of how their fathers ate manna in the wilderness, Jesus corrected them, saying: “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven.” (John 6:32)

If ever we, like Mephibosheth, are granted the undeserved privileged of dining at the King’s table, and indeed we have been by being made heirs of eternal life, when ever we have become so rich in worldly goods and seem in need of nothing, then we ought to watch our treacherous and deceitful hearts. The Lord who took us from being beggars and bastards and made us sons and princes, is able to just as soon divest us of the privilege. Like Abraham, we must pray to have the faith to, even if tremblingly, give back to God the Isaac he gave us; Isaac, the one and only son through whom he promised to make us the father of many nations. And that’s the paradox of God’s Kingdom; we lose what we clamour fitfully to keep, and we keep that which we gladly give away.

Dear Mephibosheth, it isn’t the house of Israel that gives men or takes from them the kingdom, it is God. Because of Mephibosheth’s presumptuousness, Ziba who had been Mephibosheth’s servant until then, David now honoured, granting him and putting him over all that Mephibosheth owned, a very good case in point from Proverbs 17:2, a servant who deals wisely will rule over a son who acts shamefully and will share the inheritance as one of the brothers.

Prayer

Dear Lord, thank you for granting us everything that we need for life and godliness. Thank you for every blessing and provision, both spiritual and material. Grant that by your mercy and grace, we would not become arrogant as to despise your hand that gives every good and perfect gift, and freely gives us everything to enjoy. Amen.

Come Home

Thu, 10 Sep 2026 05:41:40 +0300

2 Samuel 14:14 We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast.

Thus the wise woman spoke to David the King upon Joab’s instigation. Absalom had killed his brother Amnon as revenge for raping Tamar, and had fled to Geshur where he had been three years, but ‘now the spirit of the King longed to go out to Absalom’(2 Samuel 13:39) and ‘…Joab the son of Zeruiah knew that the King’s heart went out to Absalom’ (2 Samuel 14:1). Through Adam we all were made sinners, and since our birth, on every day of our lives here on earth, we have but added to that heap of sin. God’s word to us is like his word to Israel: ‘You have not bought me sweet cane with money, or satisfied me with the fat of your sacrifices. But you have burdened me with your sins; you have wearied me with your iniquities.’ (Isaiah 43:24). Yet since the day of the fall in Eden, God’s heart has went out to the man he’d made, so that at the fulness of time he sent his only begotten Son Jesus to pay the price of our disobedience by his death on the cross. All men must indeed die, but Jesus tasted death for every man, for by him God had devised a means so that though banished, we would not remain outcasts.

We all have sinned, and like sheep we have gone astray, yet in each one of us there’s a longing to go back home. We have sought for happiness, for healing, for peace, for rest, in worldly pleasure and indulgences and know only too well that all is vanity. Is there better news than to hear that our Father longs so much for us than we long for him, and that he has worked out for us the way back home? The prodigal son went back home intending to beg to be made a servant, but while he was yet a long way off his father ran out to meet him, embraced and kissed him, and had a party organized to celebrate the return of the son who was lost but now had been found, who had died but now lived. We too, let’s go back home, our Father is gladly waiting.

Hosea 11:8 How can I give you up O Ephraim? How can I hand you over O Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart recoils within me; My compassion grows warm and tender.

Will Lamartine Thompson:

Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling,
calling for you and for me;
see, on the portals he’s waiting and watching,
watching for you and for me.

Refrain:
Come home, come home;
you who are weary come home;
earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling,
calling, O sinner, come home!

Why should we tarry when Jesus is pleading,
pleading for you and for me?
Why should we linger and heed not his mercies,
mercies for you and for me? [Refrain]

Prayer:

Dear Lord, We all have stumbled, and continue to, because of our iniquities. We have wandered a long way from home, and forfeited healing and peace by not turning to you early enough. Yet though our sin is great, you are He who blots out our transgressions for your own sake, and remember not our sins. We return to you O Lord, asking you to have compassion on us, for you promise to abundantly pardon. Forgive our sin, heal our apostacy, and in your mercy lead us back home, for your glory, Amen.

You will have your desire, and despair along with it

Wed, 09 Sep 2026 06:47:16 +0300

2 Samuel 13:15 Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her

Amnon fell in love with his half-sister Tamar and was so tormented that he made himself ill because of her. Though at first it seemed impossible for him to have her, Jonadab, a very crafty man, counselled him on what to do. So Amnon pretended to be sick, and requested his father, King David, to have Tamar come over to cook for him. After Tamar had done so, she had her send everyone away and then he forcefully took her to bed. Not unsurprisingly however, it turns out, as we have read in the Scripture above, that after Amnon had raped his sister Tamar, he now hated her more than he had loved her.

At some points in our lives, as I myself would personally bear testimony, we torment ourselves with various passions and terrible longings; we lose our ease and our peace, feeling that our lives would turn out better and happier only if we finally got hold of a position, money, or like Amnon, ‘our Tamar.’ Those dating, knowing that fornicating is sin, may yet nurse the fantasy of what sleeping with their partner with whom they are not yet married would be like. In C. S. Lewis’s The Magician’s Nephew, we meet the White Witch, who ate of the fruit that wasn’t hers to eat, for she had not received it from Aslan’s hand as Digory did. “…its smell”, Aslan tells Digory, “which is joy and health and life to you, is death and horror and despair to her.” She had longed for it just as Eve had done when “she saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” (Genesis 3:6) But after having what they desired, then followed despair.

If we insist, we really will get what it is that we want and desire, but that thing will not always make us happy. Whatever we desire that is outside or contrary to Gods will, and that we take without his sanction or against his command bring us none of the joy or satisfaction it promises, or that we imagine or expect it to. We will in the end find that we now hate Tamar more than we had loved her.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, Thank you for the encouragement and comfort that we have in reading your Word in Psalms 84:11, that you withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly. Many of us do indeed find ourselves assailed by longings that are sinful and disgusting, Lord do not give us over to our wills and desires. No joy is there to be had in disobeying you. Deliver us from the evil one, and from ourselves. Amen.

“Child”, he replied, “that is why all the rest are now a horror to her. That is what happens to those who pluck and eat fruits at the wrong time and in the wrong way. The fruit is good, but they loathe it ever after.”

Mon, 07 Sep 2026 21:13:48 +0300

Thomas Browne:

there is therfore some other hand that twines the thread of life than that of nature; wee are not onely ignorant in Antipathies and occult qualities, our ends are as obscure as our beginnings, the line of our dayes is drawne by night, and the various effects therein by a pencill that is invisible; wherein though wee confesse our ignorance, I am sure we doe not erre, if wee say, it is the hand of God.

Mon, 07 Sep 2026 20:58:20 +0300

Abraham Booth, New City Catechism:

As the enemies of your soul are inveterate, subtle, and powerful, and your spiritual frames inconstant, it is highly necessary you should live under a continual remembrance of those awakening considerations. What more advisable, what so necessary for you, as to walk circumspectly; to watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation? A sense of your own weakness and insufficiency, should ever abide on your mind and appear in your conduct. As the corruption of nature is an enemy that is always near you, and always in you, while on earth; and as it is very strongly disposed to second every temptation from without; you should “keep your heart with all diligence.” Watch, diligently watch, over all its imaginations, motions, and tendencies. Consider whence they arise and to what they incline, before you execute any of the purposes formed in it. For such is the superlative deceitfulness of the human heart, “that he who trusteth in it is a fool,” ignorant of his danger, and unmindful of his best interests. This consideration should cause every child of God to bend the suppliant knee, with the utmost frequency, humility, and fervour: to live, as it were, at the throne of grace; nor depart thence till far from the reach of danger. Certain it is, that the more we see of the strength of our adversaries and of the danger we are in from them, the more shall we exercise ourselves in fervent prayer. Can you, O Christian, be cool and indifferent, be dull and careless, when the world, the flesh, and the devil are your implacable and unwearied opposers?

Sin and Age

Sun, 06 Sep 2026 19:55:04 +0300

Thomas Browne, Religio Medici:

Were there any hopes to out-live vice, or a point to be super-annuated from sin, it were worthy of our knees to implore the dayes of Methuselah. But age doth not rectifie, but incurvate our natures, turning bad dispositions into worser habits, and (like diseases) brings on incurable vices; for every day as we grow weaker in age, we grow stronger in sinne, and the number of our dayes doth but make our sinnes innumerable. The same vice committed at sixteene, is not the same, though it agree in all other circumstances, at forty; but swels and doubles from the circumstance of our ages, wherein besides the constant and inexcusable habit of transgressing, the maturity of our Judgement cuts off pretence unto excuse or pardon: every sin, the oftner it is committed, the more it acquireth in the quality of evill; as it succeeds in time, so it proceeds in degrees of badnesse; for as they proceed they ever multiply, and like figures in Arithmeticke, the last stands for more than all that went before it: And though I thinke no man can live well once but hee that could live twice, yet, for my owne part, I would not live over my houres past, or beginne againe the thred of my dayes: not upon Cicero’s ground, because I have lived them well, but for feare I should live them worse; I find my growing Judgement dayly instructs me how to be better, but my untamed affections and confirmed vitiosity make mee dayly doe worse; I finde in my confirmed age the same sinnes I discovered in my youth; I committed many then because I was a child, and because I commit them still I am yet an Infant. Therefore I perceive a man may bee twice a child before the dayes of dotage, and stand in need of Aesons bath before threescore.

The saddest book

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 11:01:45 +0300

Finished reading: One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez 📚. Again. Reread 02.

😭Three years later this is still the saddest book I’ve ever read. And my best. Of red ants and pigtails. 💔😭 And if I’m asked why I’m crying I wouldn’t be able to answer, because one would only understand if they too read the book.

As has been said, “100 years of Solitude does not surrender all its meaning in the first reading, it demands a second reading which is in effect the real reading.”

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 09:59:22 +0300

Thabiti Anyabwile, New City Catechism:

We human people are so fallen, and we’ve been so fallen for so long, that we actually think that we are the measure of what it means to be human. It’s striking. We say things like “to err is human.” And we unwittingly then begin to define humanity in terms of that fallenness, in terms of its brokenness, in terms of its incompleteness. But if you define humanity like that, what do you do with Jesus? What do you do with Jesus who takes upon himself our humanity, yet, as the Bible tells us, is without sin, who does not err?

Martyr?

Fri, 04 Sep 2026 18:52:27 +0300

Thomas Browne doing what he does best 😂😂

Now as all that die in warre are not termed Souldiers, so neither can I properly terme all those that suffer in matters of Religion Martyrs. The Councell of Constance condemnes John Husse for an Heretick; the Stories of his owne party stile him a Martyr; He must needs offend the Divinity of both, that sayes hee was neither the one nor the other: There are questionlesse many canonized on earth, that shall never be called Saints in Heaven; and have their names in Histories and Martyrologies, who in the eyes of God, are not so perfect Martyrs as was that wise Heathen, that suffered on a fundamentall point of Religion, the Unity of God.

On, on, on

Fri, 04 Sep 2026 18:47:52 +0300

But the indomitable egotism which forever rides down the hosts opposed to it, the river which says on, on, on; even though it admits, there may be no good for us whatever, still on, on; this indomitable egotism charged her cheeks with colour; made her look very young; very pink; very bright-eyed as she sat with her dress upon her knee, and her needle held to the end of green silk, trembling a little. He was in love! Not with her. With some younger woman, of course.

– from Mrs Dalloway

those criticizing Rhema Feast, a warning

Thu, 03 Sep 2026 16:27:09 +0300

I have just seen a series of Substack posts titled “~~Rhema~~ Error Feast.” Of course you would know what to expect as you open it to read it: much criticism, and I hazard to say, pretty self-righteous attacks at the preachers and those folks attending the conference. It’s tempting indeed to point our fingers and laugh at those who we are certain are in error. But for most, if not all, of the articles we would write to show the heresies the sermons being preached are laden with, those articles will only be read and celebrated and promoted by people who agree with us. I have criticized Rhema Feast in the past, nor do I ever intend to attend Rhema Feast, or any such themed conferences in my life , but even as I try to make this point, I feel misunderstood most by those who apparently agree with me. Why do we have to make it seem as though we are against such movements in entirety? I fear that while we do that, we will find ourselves overlooking and even denigrating the work that God has sometimes accomplished through such frail and imperfect means and instruments. I firmly believe that it is sometimes in and through such conferences that some people’s lives will be placed on the path of change and transformation and altered for the better when they are convicted in their hearts, and when they give their lives to Christ. Even Rhema Feast has it’s point so far as the Church and Christianity is concerned. I am beginning to worry for those of us who feel justified enough to disparage the conference. This throwing of stones isn’t always a good idea; first it’s not as if we are without sin, second, some of us live in glass houses (by glass houses I mean that we still organize and promote other conferences)

Here’s a passage by Thomas Browne in his Religio Medici :

Every man is not a proper Champion for Truth, nor fit to take up the Gantlet in the cause of Veritie: Many from the ignorance of these Maximes, and an inconsiderate zeale unto Truth, have too rashly charged the troopes of error, and remaine as Trophees unto the enemies of Truth

Thu, 03 Sep 2026 14:01:45 +0300

Thomas Browne:

The Jew is obstinate in all fortunes; the persecutions of fifteene hundred yeares have but confirmed them in their errour: they have already endured whatsoever may be inflicted, and have suffered, in a bad cause, even to the condemnation of their enemies. Persecution is a bad and indirect way to plant Religion; It hath beene the unhappy method of angry devotions, not onely to confirme honest Religion, but wicked Heresies, and extravagant opinions.

To think that he wrote that before The Holocaust.

Rhema Feast '26

Wed, 02 Sep 2026 21:20:42 +0300

As I look back at my own journey of salvation, I am especially grateful for the preachers from whom I heard God’s word. I have felt moved as I took some time to hear Apostle Michael Orokpo and Apostle Grace Lubega speaking at Rhema Feast, but there has been a strange and even disturbing awareness that I have outgrown such kind of teaching. As that might not sound very humble, I would add that I do not intend in any way whatsoever to show any bit of arrogance or smugness towards those who have been very enthusiastic about and might have even felt helped and transformed through the ministrations at the conference. Personally, however, through and in some very good books, I have been so impacted and have learnt so much that it has felt I was going down a rung by listening in on the Rhema Feast sermons. There are people who will be helped by God’s grace and whose lives will be changed courtesy of the conference just as I was in times past. For me, however, an assignment beckons: “…until I come, give attendance to reading…” No conferences, or revival meetings, or hang-outs, or super Sundays for me unless they bear clear importance to my studying and my reading and my writing. No, thank you, but I won’t be coming. I can’t.

Abigail and Eve

Wed, 02 Sep 2026 16:59:26 +0300

1 Samuel 25 tells the story of Abigail. I am wondering whether or not it would be a good idea to give a summary of the story. I think I will.

David is being pursued by Saul who wants to kill him, and David, perhaps out of food and necessities to live by, sends some of his men to go ask for help from Nabal. David’s men had been good and kind towards the men who were taking care of Nabal’s sheep and David thinks that Nabal would be glad to now have the opportunity to repay that kindness. Nabal, however, answers unkindly and sends the men away. This makes David very angry and he sets out with, by all appearances, the intention of a murder spree. Abigail, Nabal’s wife, gets to hear of how Nabal had treated David’s men, and she quickly sets out with provisions to meet David who she must have heard was on his way to their home. When they meet, she pays him homage, and speaks very wisely to David, pleading with him not to avenge himself with his own hands. She clearly makes David see the sense he was unable to because of his anger.

Verse 32: And David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! Blessed be your discretion, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodguilt and from working salvation with my own hand!”

Abigail saves David from committing a sin he would have regretted.

This isn’t what Eve did who, in Genesis 3:6 “… took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.”, embroils Adam in her sin.

Just as David was so glad for Abigail saving him, and just as Adam blamed his disobedience on the ‘woman who God gave him’, it seems to me that many men would really be glad to have an Abigail in their lives, just as they would resent having Eve.

Wed, 02 Sep 2026 13:42:48 +0300

There’s this paragraph in 100 Years that… I find it hard properly expressing the hold that it has on me. And no, it isn’t because it’s the best in the book.

Intrigued by that enigma, he dug so deeply into her sentiments that in search of interest he found love, because by trying to make her love him he ended up falling in love with her. Petra Cotes, for her part, loved him more and more as she felt his love increasing, and that was how in the ripeness of autumn she began to believe once more in the youthful superstition that poverty was the servitude of love. Both looked back then on the wild revelry, the gaudy wealth, and the unbridled fornication as an annoyance and they lamented that it had cost them so much of their lives to fund the paradise of shared solitude. Madly in love after so many years of sterile complicity, they enjoyed the miracle of loving each other as much at the table as in bed, and they grew to be so happy that even when they were two worn-out old people they kept on blooming like little children and playing together like dogs.

Mon, 31 Aug 2026 17:55:45 +0300

Cupid and Psyche

Source

Sun, 30 Aug 2026 17:19:30 +0300

Thomas Browne:

“the Devill playd at Chesse with mee, and yeelding a pawne, thought to gaine a Queen of me, taking advantage of my honest endeavours; and whilst I labour’d to raise the structure of my reason, hee striv’d to undermine the edifice of my faith.”