Dear Sam,

For some time, I have noticed how you particularly seem dazed about the idea of having a girlfriend. You seem so much taken in with the thought of being in love; most of the things you say or write, implicitly or explicitly make mention of love. I know you are single, at least formally, but I am very afraid that your heart isn’t. I am at a loss of words to explain why it is singleness in heart that really counts as singleness. That means most single people, especially in medical school christian union, live as though they were married already, as though they already are in a relationship. Will you believe me when I say it is such a miserable state to be in?

Do you want the truth? There isn’t much to exult about being in a relationship. You have read what Paul has to say on the matter? I’m sure you have. The only reason to marry is a lack of self control: his urge being that if you can control your passions, stay single (It is way better to stay single, but if you marry you have done nothing wrong).

You are in an environment that pressures you, mostly tacitly, to have a girlfriend. I join Paul in his saying: it is better if you stayed single. There’s so much of life to focus on, and sexual love stands in the way of it. Don’t get married unless it’s absolutely necessary. No, stop looking for a girlfriend.